The following video is NOT a parody. It's a god honest advertisement for one of the most ridiculous, unnecessary products ever: the Tiddy Bear.

I wasn't aware that there was an overwhelming epidemic of safety belt blisters and rashes that required such a call to action. But even if there was... just buckle up and suck it up, people! What's next, special helmets that keep our hair from blowing around in the wind, causing agonizing scalp agitation? Jeezy creezy...

Is this what the human race has come to? Darwin must be shaking his head at our pansy asses.

I really love these "crowd pranks" I've seen floating around lately. I bet most of these unsuspecting victims hadn't run in ages leading up to this traumatizing event. Funny what happens when your adrenaline kicks in... Check out the Japanese clip that started it all:

Watch this intense fight scene that's so bad it's good (yay) from the 1990s. The acting reeks of "small town martial arts studio open casting call" and the sound effects are so exaggerated that you'll think it's a foreign film (not so, it's from the US).

Superfluous "hii-YeeAH!"s, torn shirts and eye-gauging? Eat your heart out, Rocky Balboa. This is how real men fight.

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Witness Brian Atene's infamously pompous and totally crap audition for Stanley Kubrick's "Full Metal Jacket"” (circa '84). He performs a scene from "The Outsiders"...

What were they teaching students at Julliard back in the 80s?? His "Outsiders" monologue sounds more like an embittered Southern sharecropper than an injured teen rebel...

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